Prismatic Maelstrom
by Marsilon
Summary: After eight years of calm, Hoenn has become a breeding ground for numerous schemes that could change the Pokemon world forever. Meanwhile, a group of trainers are unfortunate enough to unravel these plots.
1. Chapter 1: Mewtwo is the New Gengar?

Chapter 1: Mewtwo is the New Gengar?

You probably want my first fanfic to start already, so no foreword before the chapter. We're just going to cut to the chase here, so here goes nothing.

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We cut to our first location: a group of floating trees in the afternoon sky. Each one seems to be floating in the gentle breeze wile a blue aura surrounds them.

…Wait, what?

Suddenly, the trees begin to barrel downward like a group of missiles. They quickly struck the ground, forming a cloud of dirt around the collision. As the dust cloud faded, an incapacitated Haunter was revealed under the wreckage of trees. The ruins were approached by a white bipedal cat-like creature with a strange, wiry body structure. Its eyes and body glowed with blue psychic energy as it stood triumphantly over its victim.

The powerful Psychic-type was approached from behind by a young trainer that looked like he had just recently started on his journey, with a backwards hat to boot. "I am so awesome! There's no way the Elite Four could defeat this" he gloated as his OMG SO ULTRA AWESUM sunglasses reflected the shining sun. He then recalled his Mewtwo, reducing it to a white orb that flew back to the Master Ball, and then left before his opponent could respond.

"…Seriously? How in the name of Arceus is that even possible?" His opponent was absolutely shocked by what just happened. She was locked in a kneeling pose of supplication as the front bang of her hair hung downward and her black eyes retained a shocked expression. The girl was about the same age as her opponent. And here's a link to her outfit:

Okay, I'm not going to take that route. I'll get to talking about her appearance.

"Oh, wait" her shocked face was immediately switched with a more annoyed expression, "Mewtwo is infamous for being able to lift more with its psychic powers than any other Pokemon of its type. But how it got into the hands of a noob is beyond me. Well, might as well regroup with one of the others and leave this out-of-place event behind" she concluded. She tightened and tucked in the laces in her blue-and-white sneakers, then stood back up and fixed the ponytail in her slightly-blue black hair. She recalled her Haunter with its matching Great Ball, it became a beam of light, yadda yadda yadda. Once she was done, she started to head south on Route 103. However, she was stopped by the appearance of an approaching trainer.

"So, Patty… How was it?" The newcomer questioned. This new trainer was also around her age, as well as at roughly the same height as her, if not a bit shorter. Patricia briefly sighed and answered, "It sucked. That noobish kid cheated and walked all over me." "Looks like both of us lost" he responded, "you know that older girl that you watched me battle before you were challenged by that other boy?" "Yeah, what about her?" "She's… kinda weird. She was like, 'Wow, you are as weak as you look! No wonder you're so huggably okay' or something like that, but she pronounced the O like a U for some reason."

"Probably a foreign accent or a speech impediment" Patricia assumed. She then asked, "Alright. Skylar, what Pokemon was she using?" "Hm," the recently-named trainer answered, "she had a Jolteon that walked around with her the whole time, and then she fought me using a big orange bird with green and yellow feathers. She was able to sweep five of my Pokemon before I decided to surrender-"

"Ho-oh!" Patricia interjected in a surprised tone. Skylar was puzzled by her sudden outburst. "Anyways, that bird's a legendary Pokemon known as Ho-oh, and there's no way a regular girl like that could have seriously captured a legendary that rare. Same goes for that kid I just lost to. He somehow had a Mewtwo on him. Oh, and don't forget that girl from yesterday that had a Shaymin."

"Derrick's expecting us to meet up with him at the Pokemon Center back at Oldale, so let's get moving" Skylar stated, "we can talk to him about it, too. Maybe he knows something about this, but he probably won't." Skylar shrugged, and then the two trainers started on their journey back to civilization.

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The time of day was now early sunset. Outside of Oldale Town's Pokemon Center was a young man that appeared to be in his late teens. There wasn't much of a breeze, nor was his silver fauxhawk the right type of hair, so I can't do that whole "his [blank that would normally have adjectives in it] hair flowed in the breeze" thing that some characters' hair do even if there's no wind in the location. He was soon joined by the only two other characters named in this story so far.

He proceeded to ask, "So, how was it?" "It wasn't so much bad as it was suspicious" Patricia replied, "We ran into two more of those legendary Pokemon that are for some reason harnessed by trainers." "Like that Shaymin?" "Correct." "Guys, we don't know who's talking" Skylar interrupted. "It should be obvious" Patricia and Derrick replied in unison, each gave him a perturbed glance and continued their conversation. "Anyways, this whole thing is messed up" Patricia stated, "but for now, let's go have Nurse Joy Clone #9022 heal our Pokemon." This time, it was Skylar giving Patricia a weird look. "Seriously, I doubt they're really clones" he argued. "And what excuse do you have to back that up" Patricia retorted, "I'd get into a flame war about that with you, but we have a plot to advance."

The trio entered through the sliding glass doors of the Pokemon Center. Patricia marched ahead with a smug expression featuring closed eyes. Inside were two groups of people: on the left were varied trainers of all types, ranging from little girls that probably aren't even supposed to be on a region-wide journey yet to teenaged boys that may have been trainers long enough to circle Hoenn multiple times by now. On the other side was a small crowd of females. Unlike the other group, they all seemed to be teenagers.

The party approached the front desk, and Patricia immediately opened her eyes only to notice a vacant front desk. "Where the hell is that lazy clone? Genetic experiments don't take breaks!" Skylar sighed and then called out to the other people in the Pokemon Center. "Do any of you guys know where Nurse Joy went? …Anyone?" The crowd was silent for a moment before responding with a unanimous stream of nos. The crowd on the right then changed their conversation and also pointed at the group a few times when referring to them.

Suddenly, a random phrase wandered into Derrick's ear. "My Mew could kick your Rayquaza's ass!" The phrase echoed in his mind for a second as he compared it to what Skylar and Patricia were talking to him about earlier. He then had a sudden idea that he shared with his comrades by grabbing them by the shoulders and shaking them vigorously while shouting, "Oh [expletive]! Those guys are in on this legendary Pokemon conspiracy too!" Once he was done, his friends gave him a pair of puzzled expressions while everyone else in the room gave him a medley of dour faces. He then shrugged and responded, "What? I can't start a panic without everyone just looking at me weird-"

"Yes! It was all us! And we'd all do it again! Ahahahaha!" One of the younger, more naïve trainers on the left side of the room made the sudden outburst, only to be summarily pummeled by an older boy. "Don't talk about that [expletive] here! I'm not gonna have any of your plan-revealing [expletive]!" Yes, some of the characters are potty-mouths.

At that moment, one of the people in the left crowd tossed out two of the Poke Balls of the person sitting right next to him and immediately strolled out of the Pokemon Center. Each Poke Ball created an intense burst of white light surrounded by a bluish-white aura. One of the lights began to take on a serpentine shape. Golden spikes began to protrude from the sides of the glowing snake, along with six otherworldly tentacle-like spikes. Its masked face reached upward, close to the ceiling of the Pokemon Center's main lobby. The other wisp of light took on the shape of a tall humanoid creature. Three spikes emerged from its head, along with spike-like legs and four tentacle arms. The light faded to reveal the identity of the two Pokemon, and Skylar made a comment as the Pokemon revealed themselves.

"… Are you sure it's too late for us to join you?" Patricia and Derrick summarily smacked their friend upside the head, causing him to retort, "What? I was gonna betray them afterward."

The Pokemon revealed themselves to be the space virus Deoxys in its Attack Form and Giratina, the beast from the Distortion World, with a Griseous Orb on its person. The massive ghostly dragon opened its mask and let out a screech that loosely resembled a human scream. The otherworldly serpent then, with a single swipe of its tail, knocked the trio down the escalator that led to the basement of the Pokemon Center, while a newly-summoned Mewtwo blocked off the way back up with a Reflect.

"Dammit, it won't fade 'till five turns later" Patricia snarled, "and from the looks of turn-based strategy games and Shonen Animes about them, five turns could be an eternity." "Shut up and get your game on" Derrick retorted, "and by 'get your game on,' I mean 'start thinking for me while I just stand back and look dumb- I mean, lazy- I mean, awesome.'" I apologize to the Yugioh fanbase for that one. Patricia continued, "Anyone got Brick Break?" "No" both of them replied, and then Skylar commented, pointing up to the Pokemon Center's lobby, "but at least they're fighting against each other up there and not us."

"What the hell is wrong with you" One of the girls from the right side cut in, "you don't just trash lovers like those with the swipe of a Giratina tail!"

Hearing that, the protagonist trio quickly glanced at each other. All three of them then said, "I'm not in love with Patricia/you two."

"It'll make us miss out on the inevitable romance between them!" The girl unleashed her Ho-oh from its Repeat Ball, summoning the rainbow phoenix to the field. Accompanying the Ho-oh were a Mew, Latias, and Darkrai. The crowd then chanted, "You dare to interfere with our original true pairing?! You must die! Die for our ship!"

"I could say the same" retorted the leader of the other group, "well, except for the part about a boat. Prepare to get massacred, [two word expletive]s!"

All the trainers from both sides began to call out their Pokemon until the lobby began to fall apart due to the sheer number of large Pokemon being housed within it. Since battling in such a cramped room would be impossible, all the Psychic-type Pokemon in the crowd let loose their psychic energy, causing the entire first and second floor of the Pokemon Center to fly away in the form of a thousand rocky, metallic shards. The shards flew out in all directions, striking and damaging the neighboring buildings and trees.

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Once the Pokemon were no longer constrained by space, and all-out war ensued. Creatures of legend were exchanging blows with other mythical beasts. Intense special attacks and ravaging physical attacks were delivered by every combatant. Some trainers and Pokemon healed and revitalized their Pokemon, meaning that this battle could very well go on for months, even years. Heavy property damage ensued. Newbie trainers just arriving at Oldale and veterans returning to this humble town were dumbfounded by the very presence of such a battle. Some even fainted due to the sheer epic-ness of the chaos.

Meanwhile, there were still three bystanders sealed away from the battle, stunned by the never-ending flurry of mystic projectiles. They noticed that the Reflect screen was fading and a Fire Blast was headed straight for them, so they fled downstairs to avoid the fiery missile. "This is just great" Patricia grumbled, "a massive action scene, and we're forced to just react to it. Why can't we be the ones dominating enemies out there? Any second now, a Hyper Beam will make a hole through the ceiling-" Patricia was immediately interrupted by a beam of light tearing through the ceiling. She continued, "and then… we'll get a hefty bag of Pokedollars." At that moment, a Mew flew through the hole in the ceiling carrying a sack in its hands with a rectangular bulge on the inside and the obligatory Pokedollar symbol featured on the front. It let down the bag in Patricia's hands and flew back into the battle. "Well that was nice of fate to give us a lot of money in case we survive" Patricia commented. At that moment, the sack of money exploded in her face, knocking her back onto her… back and leaving a layer of black soot covering her face. "Haha, Mew just kicked your ass" Derrick taunted. Once Patricia shook off the soot and stood back up, she gave off a furious glare. "[Expletive] you, Mew!" "Come on, that was just a cartoony injury" Skylar retorted, "nothing to use an M-rated swear word over." As Patricia groaned at her friends' comments, Skylar remembered something on him. He checked one of the pockets of his black cargo shorts for something. What was inside appeared to be the number for a hotline of some sort. It read:

"1-000-RIGHTEOUSNESS. For whenever you need a bit of divine intervention."

"Hey Patricia" Skylar requested, "can I borrow your cell phone?" "What for?" "I think this could help us. Somehow…" Skylar immediately showed her the number and Patricia reached into the pocket of her asymmetrical jeans and threw her phone to him. Skylar frantically dialed the number using the number and letter slots on Patricia's phone. Once he finished dialing, he awaited a response. As the phone rang, a blast of Sacred Fire created an even bigger hole in the ceiling.

A person on the other end picked up the phone and asked, "Hello, this is the Hand of Righteousness Emergency Hotline. What problems do you have that need to be smited?" "This may sound hard to believe" Skylar responded, "but there's a war of like a thousand legendary Pokemon right above us at the Oldale Pokemon Center-" "We're on it. We'll be at the scene right away" the unknown person replied, and then proceeded to immediately hang up afterwards. This made Patricia wonder: "Uh… where exactly did you find that number?" "Well" Skylar returned, "I found it on a random park bench when we were in Rustboro. It seemed mysterious enough, so I decided to pick it up. Maybe it's a way to contact Arceus or something. All I know is that they sound like they could handle this."

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Back on the surface, a number of portals began to appear. Through these gates, a number of agents dressed in white suits with blue ties emerged, carrying numerous unidentified devices. They immediately began to circle the raging battle, and then they prepared their weapons. Once they were ready, they all fired beams of light toward the battle zone. The beams struck many of the Pokemon in battle, causing them to dissolve.

As more legendary Pokemon faded, the main group approached the hole in the ceiling and noticed what was occurring. However, the beams were so blinding that Patricia and Derrick were forced to avert their gaze while Skylar had to reposition the black Go-Goggles around his neck so that the yellow lenses were covering his eyes. But even then, the light's intensity forced him to look away.

After a few moments had passed, the mission was complete. Both the light and violence had come to a halt, so the three trainers finally returned to the surface while the Oldale City Nurse Joy was still bound and gagged behind the corner of the escalator. Once our protagonists resurfaced, the sky was orange, and the sun was lower than earlier. The Uber-handling trainers were now being apprehended by the men in white suits. Skylar, Patricia, and Derrick were quickly confronted by three of them. "So, were you the ones who called?" one of the men assumed. "Yeah. Thanks for getting them out of our lives" Derrick replied.

"No, thank you" the man retorted, "for helping us destroy these legendary Pokemon counterfeiters. Sounds really crazy, but it's all too real… We want you to come with us to join our organization." The group considered the offer… for all of a millisecond before Skylar returned, "Sorry, but we have a normal journey to continue on." "No, I insist" he… insisted, "You really should join us." "Hate to break it to 'ya" Derrick retorted, "But you guys seem kinda weird." "Yup, something about you guys rubs me in the wrong way. You look like the opposite of those government agents you see in the movies" Patricia added.

"Nothing's 'creepy' about us. We are the hope for fixing the Pokemon world, so it is our responsibility to deal with the criminals that the Officer Jenny clones-I mean, police can't handle." "See?" Patricia retorted, much to Skylar's chagrin, "I told you there was a conspiracy behind the identical Joys and Jennies." "Right… No offense or anything, but we're not quite ready to become full-time super amazing specialriffic heroes just yet" Skylar concluded, followed by Derrick's quip. "I take offense." "Shut up. Anyways, good luck with your whole superhero organization mission thingy." The group turned around and finally began to start on their way back to Mauville.

"You have made the incorrect choice."

The trio immediately turned around, startled by a sudden statement, even more adamant than anything he had said before, coming from the white-suited enforcer. "Those who don't take the Wings of Righteousness seriously are prime targets of evil's influence." The well-dressed crusader continued, "Go on. Leave. But know well that you will become part of the shadows that we must purge from this corrupted land unless you reconsider quickly." All three trainers gave him a perturbed glance and continued on their way.

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After the whole uber incident, we find… Derrick punching a cardboard cutout that fell down so easily, it was as if simply flicking it would do the exact same thing. He then crouched down and tore the cutout of some nondescript person into two uneven halves while his comrades stood and gazed at him as if he were deranged. He then snarled, "Those jackasses are going to pay for kicking our asses and shoving us into a basement for our big debut." "So…" Skylar retorted, "Your method of relieving that stress is through property damage? I'm pretty sure that's someone else's cardboard." "Shut up" Derrick growled, "The first chapter of a story is supposed to establish how badass the characters are, or at least how badass one character is. Like a certain character that I kinda know about." "Ooh, was it me?" Patricia interrupted. "Don't mention that story you posed online, PLEASE" Skylar moaned, covering his face with a facepalm, "I couldn't get past that one part with at guy… and the Teddiursas… and the chainsaw murderers…" "Oh, that reminds me" Derrick added, "I've heard that around this time of year, starting tonight…"

"…They lurk on Route 203."

Skylar's sanity summarily shattered with that statement. His eyes shrank to a third of their original size, his skin's complexion suddenly seemed a bit paler than usual, a cold sweat of fear trickled down the back of his neck, and he could have sworn that his legs were suddenly made of jelly, but I don't seem to notice any additional squishiness or transparency in his legs. In fact, this whole paragraph is probably a carbon-copy of twenty other descriptions of fear.

Anywho, time for the heroic-sounding conclusion! Who in the name of Arceus were those people back in the Pokemon Center? Why so spontaneously fighting? Is anyone actually going to stop them from counterfeiting Legendary Pokemon, however that works? And who were those dashing, heroic men in white? Find out next time on-

"Glomp!" Turns out a girl just leaped at Skylar in what seems to be a mix between a hug and a tackle. Way to ruin the ending, woman.


	2. Chapter 2: Blue Pelipper

Chapter 2: Blue Pelipper and More Regular Trainer Rippers!

This chapter may seem different. There are more gags and less seriousness than the pilot chapter.

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Picking up from where last chapter left off… Skylar got glomped by some girl who literally shouted that word. Now they were both on the ground, with Skylar still wrapped up tightly in the girl's grasp. "Okay, what was that all about?" Skylar snapped at the unnamed girl who appeared to be a few years older than the two non-Derrick members of the group. His annoyed response caused the girl to let go of him.

Once both of them stood back up, the glomper replied, "Because you're so huggably Uke, that's what!" "If I'm just adequate, then how am I 'huggable?'" Derrick and the new girl both let out a sigh. "She meant that you were an Uke" Derrick explained, "It's a term for something I don't really know about. All I know is that girls like to call some of the pretty boys that." "Wrong" the girl clarified, "Uke is the term we use for boys that would look oh-so-cute with a certain type of guy called a Seme. Ukes can be pretty boys, but they can also be boys that look like children."

She then double-checked Derrick. "And speaking of Semes, you've got a hot Seme right here! Just look at that edgy haircut and that manly tanktop, and the maroon short-sleeved jacket is a nice touch as well. The shorts, however, have got to go" she critiqued, referring to Derrick's black running shorts which were even shorter than Skylar's shorts, but not quite as short as what a girl would wear. "But your Uke could wear them" she said, triggering an embarrassed response from Skylar. "Uh, I can get used to Derrick wearing shorts that make even some girls jealous in order to 'show off his figure,' but there is no way that I'm wearing those. Besides, I never even agreed to this."

Patricia neither knew nor cared what was going on.

"Yeah, what makes you think we love each other?" Derrick questioned the girl. "Simple. I, Jezzubelluh" since we only had three named characters so far, from what I remember, "have figured out that you two are obviously part of a Nakama. You two are essentially family, so it makes it all the more cute!" Both Derrick and Skylar sighed, since they were both confused and disturbed by Jezzubelluh's speech. "Come on, Patricia. Let's just leave this girl here and continue on our journey" both of them said in unison.

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"Wait a minute, who's Officer Jenny?" Skylar asked this question to his friends as they continued on their path through a darkened Route 203. "I've heard people talk about her a lot because there are a lot of officers just like her, but I've never actually seen an Officer Jenny." "Well, we are in the games' continuity" Patricia replied. Derrick then commented, "All that really matters is that she's hot and she has handcuffs." Skylar and Patricia stared at Derrick and pointed at a glowing and intangible letter T. "…Because handcuffs are important when it comes to catching criminals and jaywalkers." "There aren't many paved streets or cars here in Hoenn" Patricia refuted. "I know. I've just always wanted to say that word. Haha, jaywalkers. Those guys are such rebels."

The trainers noticed an unusual concentration of light on the cleared-out north end of the route. Thus, they decided to check it out. Beyond the line of trees was a strange pit in the land and a dirt mound behind it that appeared to be covered in a thick layer of grass and foliage. Along the walls of the pit were pathways spiraling down toward the bottom. However, the most immediate aspect of the sight was a large poster attached to a tall chain link fence in front of the pit. It read: **"Hoenn PokePark! The only theme park in Hoenn!"** There was also section on the bottom reading: "Pardon our dust. We are making expansions to the park."

"Why'd we have to come across this place at _night_?" Patricia moaned, "I could use a distraction from inconsiderate morons ruining the sport of Pokemon." Skylar replied, "Couldn't we just crash here tonight and go in the morning? Besides, I heard this place had a tram to Mauville that we could take." "Aww, but now I'll have nightmares based on what I saw at today's Uberfest."

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The next day, Skylar and Patricia were continuing on the path to the park…

…Wait, what? "How is this considered strange?" Patricia debated. "Well, since Derrick isn't with us…" "Oh yeah. Why were you so eager to leave him behind anyway?" Patricia appeared to be reading a cue card behind Skylar with those exact lines, with a mechanical voice to boot. Skylar then made an artificial reply by reading another cue card. "Because, Pa-ti, he said one night that if I were to ever wake him up again for any reason, then he would kick me so hard that the footprint would turn me inside-out." "Dammit, seriously? We're expected to read _cue cards_?" Skylar then whispered in her ear with a response that we're not supposed to hear…

Forget this bullcrap.

"Don't you remember? The audience demands an explanation for everything. Either that or we need to justify how careless we look for abandoning one of our friends. However, Derrick did actually say that. You just weren't awake during that moment."

Now say something beyond the fourth wall, because that is inherently funny. That and lampshading everything. "There goes Derrick's fanbase" Patricia responded. "Don't be so sure" Skylar explained, "lotsa people dig characters that act like jerks." "But what if he crosses the line of evil?" "Then Arceus help us all." And now this author will get at least one comment about how I'm using "lotsa" instead of "lots of."

After a few minutes, Patricia could finally say, "Here we are." In the duo's line of sight was a massive Pokemon-themed theme park full of varied rides, attractions, and a few prominent roller coasters that towered over everything in the vicinity. "I wonder if we're finally tall enough to go on those rides" Skylar... wondered. "Well, this is technically Japan" Patricia returned, "so minimum height requirements are likely less than what the readers expect them to be, but I don't remember how tall people need to be to get on those rides since I haven't been here in a while." "Are you sure we have enough money to get in?" "Dude" Patricia retorted, "Derrick and I each have enough money to buy _you_. Unfortunately, we can't buy our way through a line." "What?" Patricia pointed toward the entrance of the park. The line for a ticket coiled through the queue as if it were an inconsiderate Seviper trying to hog the entire line for its hundreds of friends. Patricia then pointed at an ad above it that immediately disturbed her and Skylar. It read: "Cute couples get 30% off admission! It's like that one fictional offer in that whatever game, but this park can't exactly afford to let cute couples in for free."

"Are they really implying that we're…" Patricia and Skylar glanced at each other for a moment while blushing out of embarrassment, but each one promptly slapped the other one to bring each other to their senses. Somewhere, somehow, someone was cheering at that, fictional or otherwise. "Always be prepared in case of the 'male and female who are just friends start to develop romantic feelings for each other' syndrome" Patricia declared. "I know-"

"We interrupt this possibly romantic conversation to bring you a plot that actually matters because it's not random banter!" The duo replied with a collective sigh. "Dammit Courtney, why did you have to interrupt us when we were going to Hoenn PokePark?"

"This is actually important, Patricia" Courtney replied. He was a bit tall for his age and sported a head of short blonde hair with a contrasting large protruding forelock that just could not be tamed. His forest green eyes remained focused on the duo. "It's a conspiracy. There are poachers under this park." "…Seriously? You interrupted our trip to the park for an urban legend?" Courtney explained, "I know it sounds just like the urban legend, but there's more truth to it than you think." "…That's an urban legend?" Skylar was dumbfounded by the idea that criminals were apparently lurking under a theme park and everyone called it an urban legend.

Derrick arrived during the conversation, annoyed by the absence of his friends up until this point. "Why did you two leave me behind?" "Well, you breathe fire whenever I try to wake you up-" Skylar was interrupted by Courtney's calm explanation. "You can complain later. There are poachers below us and we're going to investigate." Derrick sighed and Patricia commented, "I know, just go with it."

"Our mission is to gather information on these poachers. Unfortunately, that doesn't mean we get to be 'super spies,' but we are spies in the more realistic definition of the term. We must explore the area and search for clues as to where these poachers will strike next."

"…How do you expect us to go on a sudden life-threatening mission just because we ran into you at an inconvenient place and time?" Skylar argued. "Are you kidding?" Derrick retorted, "Exposing a black market's plans is just what we need to actually do something in this story! Skylar, if you don't come with us, then I'll lose all respect for you and admire the fact that you've apparently become an unlikable jackass, then realize that I wasn't supposed to think that and kick your ass higher than The Flight of Rayquaza." Derrick referred to a towering green roller coaster in the distance. "Fine" Skylar scowled. Patricia added, "I'm assuming that I should stay behind in case you guys need backup?" "Actually, Derrick would be better for that" Courtney answered, "He has the strongest Pokemon out of all of us." "Fine" Derrick hissed, mirroring Skylar's earlier response.

A few minutes later (actually, more like fifteen to thirty minutes later,) the party arrived at the front of the line. Skylar and Patricia were holding hands and feigning innocent happiness. The ticket salesman commented, "My, aren't you two a cute couple!" "Why tank- I mean, thank you, Mrs. Ticket Salesperson Madame Ma'am" Skylar replied in the cutesiest, Shota-ish voice he could muster. "Yeah" Patricia added, "We are like, so totally uber kawaii desu! And we're all like, lovey-dovey and stuff!" "Cool!" Skylar interjected, "I dunno why my shorts are this long! They need to be shorter to express how truly cutesy-wutsey lovey-dovey I am!" When Skylar berated himself for wearing shorts that ended right above his knees rather than wearing shorts that would put even girls to shame, Derrick raised a bewildered eyebrow and a half when he heard that statement. Patricia added to the conversation once again. "I agree! I should be wearing a pretty dress or a blouse! Silly me! Let's all like, totally go on a keen theme park **advenchuur** of **fan-tasy**!"

"_Woooooow…_" Courtney commented on the previous situation as the party entered the theme park, "You two have officially somewhat disturbed me." Skylar and Patricia's expressions were frozen in the shape of pure shame with a side helping of facepalm. "Remind us to never do that again" Patricia concluded, "Acting like stereotypical children in Anime (or was that Western Animation) isn't worth a discount." "I am never going to live this down..." Skylar sulked, "Over-the-top doesn't even begin to describe how cutesy I acted back there. Let's just never talk about it again, _please_."

Derrick pulled out a frilly violet dress from Hammerspace and taunted, "You've just earned your obligatory Shonen hero cross-dressing scene." Skylar swiped the dress and snapped, "I'd rather look like a jerk by saying that I would throw this at The Flight of Rayquaza and somehow trigger a 'kill 'em all' death than wear this." "You deserve it for calling short shorts 'girly'" Derrick returned. "Well, they are kinda girly" Skylar retorted. "Are you kidding? Short shorts are freaking testosterone on legs! Literally! Nothing says 'look at my badass figure, ladies' like short shorts. And besides, this is coming from a character that's essentially a tomboy with a… I can't say that? Okay, 'Y chromosome,' whatever that is. You're gonna have to have a crossdressing scene sooner or later-" "**Plooottt!**" Courtney roared, shouting in Derrick's ear.

Back at the line, a hunched-over, beastlike boy and a pale, thin girl with dark hair and dark clothing approached the front of the line. "Sorry, you two aren't cute enough." This response triggered the boyfriend to give the ticket salesperson a threatening glare.

A while later, Courtney, Patricia, and Skylar had made it to the bottom of the hole. The underground base they had arrived at had an entrance that looked like… a front lobby. "Hello, and welcome to Blue Pelipper Traders and Co… How'd kids like you get in here?" "I'm scheduled for an appointment with one of your agents" Courtney stated. "Very well then. Name, please?" "Courtney C. Sinclair." "Ah, Albert Sinclair's son. We've been expecting you. You will meet your agent in the hallway to the right in room 119." "Thank you" Courtney responded.

The group searched the hallway until arriving upon a door with the number 119 prominently displayed on the surface. "If this goes as planned, we should have enough time to check her computer" Courtney whispered as he opened the door. Inside was an average-sized office, occupied by a desk, some chairs, and a couple of shelves displaying photos and various other knick-knacks and keepsakes. At the desk was a woman that appeared to be in her mid to late twenties wearing a black dress and sporting a blonde hairdo that was tied up in a bun. "Figures" Patricia whispered to her friends, "They always hire the hottest salesmen in the business to close the deal." The businesswoman noticed Courtney and warmly greeted him. "Hi, Courtney! It's been a while since I last went to your dad's house for dinner. Wow, you're getting tall! And look how sharply-dressed you are!" She said, commenting on Courtney's un-tucked white dress shirt with a green plaid pattern and his khaki slacks. "I brought you something. Thank goodness that there's a 'secret word' for these kinds of things, or else security would have taken it." Courtney reached into his bag and took out a lavishly-decorated box of unidentified cookies and a bottle of Pomeg Berry juice. "Oh, thank you!" the woman replied, "How'd you know what I like?" "Well, my dad knows. Anyways, let's get down to business." "And while we do business stuff, we should take a peek at what Derrick's doing" Skylar added, triggering a puzzled response from the woman.

Back at the theme park, Derrick appeared to be engaging in battle against another trainer. So far, the battle looked rather one-sided: Derrick's signature Steelix was looming over the Poochyena of an opposing trainer. "You've challenged me at the right time" Derrick quipped, "Being alone at a theme park with lines longer than hell has given me a strange desire to own newbies. Steelix, finish the Poochyena with Crunch." Steelix obeyed and slid its head backward slightly. At a moment's notice, the Steelix quickly bit the target Poochyena with its metallic teeth. The force and level difference was strong enough to defeat poor Poochyena in one move, so the trainer recalled the canine Pokemon and taunted, "Check out what I have under my sleeve! Go, Frost!" The girl tossed a Poke Ball into the center of the arena, triggering an icy flash of white light that took the shape of a giant bird. Once the white glow and the surrounding aura faded, an Articuno was revealed. "Dammit, not another one!" Derrick lamented. "Frost, show that womanizing jackass what real power is!" "Hey, don't be jumping to conclusions here! I haven't acted sexist yet-" Before Derrick could finish, his Steelix was struck by an intense Ice Beam. Though it didn't faint right away, Steelix could not deny that it had taken major damage from that last attack. "Alright Steelix, bombard it with a storm of Stone Edges!" Steelix began to summon rocky spikes and fire them at the Articuno. However, the ice bird evaded the first wave. The second wave dealt heavy damage, but not enough to take down the legendary bird. "Ice Beam him into his place." Articuno swiftly fired another Ice Beam before Steelix could fire its third wave of Stone Edges, thus defeating Steelix.

"You guys are scum" Derrick growled in disdain. "Well" his opponent suggested, "I know a place where you can get better, cooler Pokemon than that bulky Steelix-" "Shut up. I know about your noob organization, and I've hated it since day one. So does Trish… even though she hates you guys even more… but I'm not exactly biffles with your cheating organization either!"

Meanwhile, after a bunch of nonsensical negotiation…

"Yeah, we'll need a Riolu for each party guest." "Hold on. I have to go to the bathroom" the woman stated. "Can I check my e-mail on your computer?" Courtney requested, "I haven't read it in a while." "Sure" The saleswoman replied as she stood up and left the room. Courtney didn't wait a single second; right away, he leaped into the office chair and started to search the opened documents for possible clues. He broke the law by searching through the opened e-mail inbox on the computer, but he did not find anything. He then began to search an opened web page of the company's site. "Don't just stand there, make sure that I can finish this. Go distract her with some small talk when she gets back or something" Courtney commanded. Immediately, Skylar and Patricia left the room and waited out in the hallway. As the businesswoman began to return, Skylar and Patricia approached her. "So…" Patricia inquired, "Have you heard about that new resort they're opening in Mauville?" "Actually, I haven't. Is it nice?" "Yeah, it's gonna be amazing. They're gonna have a Pokemon arena, a casino, rooms as big as a 2-story house with pure gold appliances, an entire theme park on the roof, a theater the size of an opera house, a water park the size of an _island_, and even robotic mechanical servants!" Patricia quickly glanced behind her and noticed Courtney still working. "Ohhh… I just realized that I got the information all wrong." "Yeah. I dunno if they could even build a resort like that" the woman replied. "The truth is… It's gonna be in Cinnabar!" Both Skylar and the saleswoman fell over in one collective face fault. Patricia glanced behind her again and noticed that Courtney was just about done. "Now get back in there and negoshimate or something" Skylar asserted, "We've gotta meet up with someone." "_You_'ve gotta meet up with someone, not me" Patricia quipped.

A few moments later, Derrick was alone on a bench. In his mind replayed moments between his defeat at the hands of Articuno and now.

"_So… Do you and your hotness wanna accompany me on The Flight of Rayquaza?"_ _"Sorry"_ the female voice answered, _"But you must be this goffik to be my boyfriend."_

"_Hola chica sexisimo"_ Derrick commented using incorrect Spanish, _"Wanna-" "_ _~SEME!!!~_ _" "Ugh, no wonder all the moderates left Fangirls Certain that those two gUys/that guy and that girl are Kawaii/Cute together…"_

The focus returns to Skylar. He was once again within the park, strolling through and wondering how in the name of all that is yellow he will find Derrick. It didn't help that he was the only member of his group without some sort of telephone. What he did find was a fashionably-dressed girl quite a few years older than him and about one head taller than him. Skylar gazed at her for a moment with his drooling mouth open, but was interrupted by her question. "You look like my cousin. Have you seen him? He looks like this." The girl took out her phone and found a picture stored on there showing Skylar asleep with a black visor beanie over his head and eyes along with drawings all over the visible part of his face and a T-shirt that was white rather than Skylar's current yellow shirt. "Where'd you get that photo?" Skylar inquired. "Well, this guy named Derrick, who's apparently my cousin's friend, sent it to me. "He just had to send _that_ picture…" "What?" "Uh-"

We rudely cut to Courtney and Patricia leaving the underground office complex. Courtney commented, "Well, that was easy-" "Way to go, blockhead" Skylar scolded on the other side of a split-screen view, "Your 'lol that wuz ez' just cursed us. They'll be on our tails any minute now!" "Relax, Skylar" Courtney retorted, tempting fate, "What's the worst that could happen-"

"RAAAAAAAAUR!!!"

To be continued…


	3. Chapter 3: Screw the Plot

Chapter 3: Screw the Plot, I Have Holidays!

This chapter will be a bit longer than normal. And yes, this is a "Christmas episode" of sorts.

------

"How bad could it be?"

"Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

"You clearly don't know a thing about evil teams, Skylar. They are usually equipped with subpar Zubats and other wimpy Pokemon. Only the leader ever poses a challenge."

"No, Courtney, you're just tempting them more!"

Courtney slid Skylar's half of the scene out of the picture and noticed Pokemon emerging. A Zubat landed in front of him, but quickly flew away to make way for a small horde consisting of Tyranitars, Gyaradoses, and Crobats. "Oh… I don't get it."

"Anywho, I'm your cousin Skylar, omg hai cuzin, hoorays all around." Skylar then changed to a slightly more adamant tone of voice. "I don't think you'd be safe with me. Therefore, I want you to resume going about your daily life. Go on, have fun! Hit on some guy and go on a ride or something! Meanwhile, I've gotta go find Patty and Derrick. There's always the rare chance that they might have to rely on me for once."

Skylar revealed his last active Pokemon. He positioned his goggles in front of his eyes, then enlarged the Poke Ball and shouted, "Time to fly, Golbat!" as he tossed the ball that released a Golbat in a rather plain flash of light. The emerging Golbat attempted to bite its trainer, but Skylar sidestepped it and gave his command. "No time for that. We need to start searching for Patty and Derrick right away. Maybe once we escape, you might get your wish." Golbat sighed and crouched down, allowing Skylar to board its large body. Golbat jumped into the sky to begin its obligatory surveillance.

"Tentacruel, drown 'em with Surf!" Patricia emerged atop of her Tentacruel that summoned a stream of roaring waters behind it. The stream blasted through the land-locked Pokemon while the flyers evaded the stream. Patricia's Tentacruel approached Courtney and offered its tentacle as a step to reach the top of its head. "You sure you want the 'student' to be outdoing the 'master?'" Patricia taunted. "Don't be so sure" he retorted, revealing his Pokemon of choice. "It's all you, Magneton! Use Thunderbolt to destroy the Flying-types!"

The summoned Magneton positioned itself in front of Tentacruel and let out an intense burst of electricity. The electricity defeated many of the Gyaradoses, but the Crobats were still standing and the Tyranitars from before barely even felt a thing. The fallen Gyaradoses were quickly replaced by a squad of about ten Salamences. The team lined itself up in the sky and fired a total of ten Flamethrowers at the Magneton, utterly decimating it. Courtney was forced to recall his Magnemite as Patricia's Tentacruel fired another wave of Surf in retaliation. Unfortunately, the Tyranitars were still standing even after a second drenching.

Skylar immediately arrived by Patricia's side and stated, "We've gotta get out of…" Skylar blankly stared at the powerful Pokemon before him. "Are you kidding?! Not even overkill describes how much overkill this is! But still, tell Derrick what's going on."

"Way ahead of you" Patricia replied, closing her cell phone.

"Is Patricia seriously asking me to run away like some pansy? I'm not gonna flee from an underhanded group of Pokemon poachers!" Derrick then noticed a crowd of Tentacruels and Golems approaching him. "Oh, that's her point… Might as well make my exit. But first…"

Derrick loaded a Poke Ball into a device attached to his right hand that appeared to be a Poke Ball-firing cannon. He quickly fired the first ball at the ground, thus releasing a frowning Bellossom. Derrick then loaded and fired a second Poke Ball to summon a wide-eyed, smirking Pelipper. "Bellossom, you're on Stun Spore duty! Pelipper, fire Water Pulse to disorient the ones Bellossom misses!" Both Pokemon would have started to attack if it wasn't for a sudden storm of spores that floated through the air. _"You can just go [expletive] yourself, evil, organizations."_ The spores caused Derrick and his Pokemon to drift off into a deep sleep.

Skylar noticed a few stray spores fluttering in the breeze. "-" Before he could even utter a word, he was zapped by a sudden bolt of electricity. The electicity paralyzed both him and Golbat, causing them to fall and strike the ground. Skylar and Golbat could only lie helplessly as the hordes of Pokemon surrounded their immobilized bodies.

After seeing Skylar struck by a Thunder Wave, Patricia could have sworn that something was falling down to the ground right above her. In just a second, she, Courtney, and Tentacruel were blasted by an immense explosion created by the falling object.

------

The main trio had recovered from their ailments a while later. They were now within a dimly-lit, windowless building closed off from the rest of the park. All of the trainers' Pokemon that had participated in battle had fainted from the previous conflict, meaning that Skylar was officially out of usable Pokemon. Patricia attempted to reach for one of her Poke Balls, but it turned out that everyone's Poke Balls were no longer on their persons.

A figure in a black business suit and a blue tie with a white pattern reminiscent of a Pelipper on it had appeared in the room. Only his tall, somewhat muscular physique was known for certain. His face was concealed by an ensemble of an elegant blue face mask and a black hood that covered his eyes. His hands were covered by dark leather gloves.

"Kids these days… They just can't resist the temptation to be 'heroic,' even if their crusades are misguided.'" "Well, you do look kinda evil" Skylar remarked- "You should be aware that there are place and times in this world where concealing one's entire face isn't 'evil.' Do you wish to insult them too? Anyways, back to the topic of your attempt to steal intelligence from us-"

"Hi guys!" A whimsical voice echoed within the building as an unexpected guest made his presence known.

The person appeared to be… nearly the epitome of manliness. He had a buff, heroic physique, tanned skin riddled with just the right scars. He had received those scars as a child after standing up to a wild flock of Fearows. His eyes were cold, badass sapphires that freeze the hearts of any baddies that dared to oppose him.

"You know, I've got a deck of cards" said someone else. Wait a second… Never mind.

His hair was long, black and blonde, and disheveled by the harsh, cruel world out there. His eyebrows were just thick enough to be manly but not ugly. His teeth were as pearly white as the toothbrush commercials. And boy was his chin bold.

…Dammit, everyone's ignoring me! Why don't more people care about this? Seriously… Skylar, Patricia, Derrick, and that one masked guy from before are freaking playing cards while I describe what this guy looks like!

"Cloaked guy, got any eights?" "Let me see… Nope, go fish." Skylar briefly scowled as he drew a card from the pile and then swiped his Poke Ball satchel from the interrogator. "Hm… Girl with the ponytail-" "Patricia." "Patricia. Do you have any… queens?" "Yes" Patricia responded, handing over two cards, "and I will become a queen someday. Queen of Poketopia, that is."

The cards summarily faded into nothing, which allowed the description to continue in peace. The man's chest consisted of burly muscles and washboard abs scarred from heroic battle. His shoulders were large and wide to accentuate his heroic figure. His hands-

"Shut up" Derrick demanded-

Were strong enough to crush a cell phone into pieces. His legs were muscular and streamlined enough to allow for fast movement.

"Phew, at least he doesn't wear short shorts" Skylar quipped. Derrick gave Skylar another annoyed glare and Skylar responded, "What? I was gonna say there could be only one ultra sexy short shorts-wearing guy in this fic."

He was dressed in a badass charcoal trenchcoat and his bare chest was lined with bullet straps and guns.

"It's a surprise he's not in prison by now" Patricia added.

He wore tight black leather deans (is that even possible?) that made him look badass instead of emo. And now back to his face. Oh, that face. Isn't it just badass? Might as well tell you all what each scar is and the back stories that follow-

*Thud!*

Dammit Derrick, why can't you endure just one description without throwing Skylar at the screen? Oh… Anyways, the guy was badass and you know it, on with the story. The masked interrogator explained, "You all have the unfortunate dishonor of meeting… this guy. Heroes and villains alike despise him due to his constant desire to make things 'more interesting.'" "Aww come on, the world is getting kinda boring. Anyways, since my Christmas is kinda boring too, I am inviting random people to a party! Attendance is mandatory, biz-niches."

"Wait a second; does the Pokemon world even celebrate Christmas?" Patricia refuted. "Well, my calendar says there's Christmas, so Christmas is now. C'mon! It'll be just like one of those reality TV shows!" The whimsical-sounding badass-looking man tossed a device under the group's feet, which enlarged and became a teleporter. Before anyone could say anything, everyone had been transported to the destination of the teleporter.

------

The room was about the size of an average nightclub and over-decorated with Christmas décor. Lights, pine branches, and fake snow decorated the walls of the room. There were at least three fireplaces that were faced away from each other and surrounded by couches. There was a long, elegant table lined with numerous chairs and a bar at the other end of the room. Finally, a colossal Christmas tree stood as the centerpiece, topped with a GardeStaryu. And yes, that caused a few people to raise an eyebrow.

The trio and the interrogator were among a small crowd of people. The group appeared to have retrieved their Pokemon from the masked thug. "There goes the plot and any chance of us proving ourselves as badasses…" Derrick lamented. "C'mon Derrick, what's the worst thing that could happen?" Patricia responded. Derrick pointed to the DVD case of a movie called _"Espichu's Zapped-out XTREME Christmas Speshul!"_

"Greetings, my friends" the eccentric voice from earlier announced on an intercom, "Since it is Christmas, I decided to film something that's a mix between a Christmas special and reality TV! Your job here is to act natural until you all learn what the true meaning of Christmas is all about! Any attempts to attack others with weapons, any attempts to start a Pokemon battle, or any attempts to leave the set will result in being judged by the Judgment of Arceus. Have fun!"

_"What a deranged loony"_ the trio collectively thought. "So…" Skylar inquired, "What should we do while we're trapped here for Christmas?" "I'm gonna go see if they check for an ID" Derrick responded, pointing towards the bar. Skylar turned to Patricia. "So… Wanna perform character development of some sort while we wait?" Patricia replied, "It's really cold for a place with three fireplaces. Let's put on something warmer and then do that."

------

One quick scene change later, Skylar and Patricia had changed clothing and were seated on a loveseat to the side of one of the fireplaces. Skylar now had full-length cargo pants and a white long-sleeved undershirt, and Patricia had let her hair down and now wore a black zip-up hoodie.

"Is there anyone who _hates_ Pokemon in this universe? That would be really weird in a land where a big chunk of technology is geared towards the care of Pokemon" "Well" Skylar responded, "There was that one church who knows how long ago that saw Pokemon as demonic, but I dunno since I don't feverishly browse the internet like you do." "Hey! I go on there to look up competitive battling strategies and you know it! That's why I'll be Poketopia's Queen: I strive to be one step ahead of everyone else, even before I got my first Pokemon." "What kind of strategies?" "You know… Tanks, sweepers, your Pokemon suck compared to mine-" "Figures" Skylar sighed. Skylar and Patricia then noticed that they were near a group of fangirls and an ensemble of men and women in white suits. "Bleh, this again" Patricia scowled.

"Stop ruining our ship, you wicked crone" one of the fangirls snarled. "Hold on a second…" one member of the ensemble took notice of Skylar and Patricia. "They actually look cute together, even if the girl might be taller." "Say **what**?!" Skylar and Patricia returned. "I agree. They do look like they could be shoehorned into a ship." "Fangirl Extra #2 has a point" the first fangirl concluded, "This means war. The Fangirls With Nothing Better to Do (wait a second, was that our actual name?) have just gained a new faction: The Skytricia faction." "How do they know our names?" Skylar and Patricia couldn't help but remain stunned by these events. "Us Skytricias will ensure that we get our way, meaning that your Skyrick hopes end here!" _"And my name is at the beginning of both of those ships because…"_

The fangirls were immediately pushed aside by the ensemble in white suits. "So, it's that group of children that refused the call of justice." Patricia retorted, "Yeah, so-" "You don't understand. Our job is to eliminate corruption's grip on our world. Just look at how that unruly young man over there" the man referred to Derrick as he drank what appeared to be a glass of beer at the bar "is behaving like a bad influence around such naïve, delicate children." Their two person audience frowned in disapproval. "Did I also mention that serving the Wings of Righteousness is a rewarding experience?"

Patricia took a moment to muse until she formulated a response… now. "Alright, so what do you guys actually _do_?" "I'm glad you asked that, little girl" the well-dressed (or creepily-dressed) man answered, "Our job as agents of the Wings of Righteousness is to purge the world of all darkness. We are assigned to eliminate villains, malefactors, and the morally-corrupt. If anyone who wishes to plague this world with darkness or support such a despicable venture, we will summarily-"

"Ho, ho, ho!" It appeared that the jolly old master of present delivery himself had appeared. Everything in the room stopped, even Derrick's lamenting over being unable to order an alcoholic beverage and instead having to drink soda.

"He's real?!" Patricia reacted, surprised by a Santa in the room. "My father told me Santa is just a marketing gambit to increase product sales in December."

"I'm getting paid to do that, y'know" the Santa stated in a voice that was now more reminiscent of a young adult, only to swiftly return to its original sound; "Anyways, I have arrived to grant all of your Christmas wishes! Simply write down what you wish for on a piece of paper from the piles all over the room and submit it! Depending on how nice you were this year, you will be rewarded with your desires!"

"Should've known he was an actor" Patricia sighed, "But still, free stuff? Seems a little… suspicious." "I don't think it's supposed to be a trap unless it's one of those people so mean that they torment orphans who will grow up to become chosen ones for fun." "Or, Skylar, perhaps one of those evil people would deliberately try to ruin a party because they have nothing meaner to do." "Ooh, like that one concert with singing mutant Squirtles?" "Yup." Both of them snatched some paper and two of the pens provided.

Derrick was joined at the bar by a young girl in an angelic white dress. "Oh dear… You must be one of those people looking for a purpose in life." Derrick let out an annoyed sigh and snapped, "I'm not joining your quest to overrun the world with Ubers, nor am I going to support me and Skylar as a couple. The kid's freaking _ten_!" "No, I have arrived to speak to you about a movement much less depraved than trying to win a Pokemon battle or thinking two men are cute together." "Oh… Are you with those guys that say I'm on the 'path to darkness' or something? I get enough of that crap from my mom." Derrick then sensed a voice from his memories echoing in his mind.

_"You don't have a choice in the matter, Derrick. The Windsor family is a long line of stoic, rock-solid ambitions and fighting spirits. You are going to continue the legacy of these Pokemon whether you want to or not."_

"Please do not question us" the girl pleaded, "The world has become corrupt enough. People pit Pokemon against each other for entertainment! Minors can gamble! Who knows what's actually inside those Poke Balls!"

------

"Hold on a second" Patricia noticed, "Where's Courtney?" "I forgot he was gone" Skylar responded, "And where's my cousin?"

Courtney and Eliza were both being interrogated by a teenager in yellow shorts and a white dress shirt. Another Blue Pelipper interrogator had been subdued and incapacitated in the corner. "Yes. For the millionth time, I do like shorts. They're comfy and aren't insanely hard to wear unlike those skinny jeans people are wearing nowadays. Now, let's get down to business. We require more people to help make this land a better place for everyone."

The interrogator turned to Courtney. "That organization that you talk about: what has it done to fight corruption in Hoenn? Wouldn't you rather join a group that does more than just gathering useless intel?" The comfortable shorts guy then aimed his debate at Eliza. "As for you: have I mentioned that the Wings of Righteousness can help make your Pokemon the best they can be _and_ show you how to properly command them?"

His voice grew more dramatic and more heroic as he went on. "One we're through with you, nothing will be impossible for you to accomplish. Trust us; with the power of the light, you will become empowered and enlightened! _You_ will have the power to change the world!"

------

A few hours later…

"…And then the place exploded. Once there was enough room, all the trainers in the Pokemon Center started to sic their legendaries on each other." Derrick was narrating an account of what had occurred in the first chapter to a group of people nearby him, including Patricia and Skylar right next to him. "So then, Skylar's like 'Oh snap, we're in quite a pickle here,' and Patricia's like 'And now, I must calculate their downfall.'" Said impression, uttered in a sinister voice, caused Patricia to giggle. "And then I'm all like, 'alright chums, I'm back, let's **do this!**' Then I call out my Steelix, now I'm charging my way through the fight, kicking major ass as I fly through the crowd-" "Alright Derrick, you had your fun" Skylar interrupted. "Who said you could decide when-" "Yeah, you're straying a little too far from the source material." Derrick immediately sighed and facepalmed in disdain. "So, how did you end up in… this?" Patricia inquired, referring to a Nurse Joy across from her. "Uh… Let me see… It was a normal day at the Pokemon Center, when all of the sudden-"

"Attention party-goers!"

"Not like we actively attended this party" Skylar quipped.

"Disaster has struck! Santa has been assaulted by evil miserly men who wish to steal Christmas if that's possible! Everyone must confront these scoundrels in the hallway that has just opened up! Refuse the call, and Christmas is ruined!"

"Oh no they didn't." Derrick stood up and charged out of the room. "Ah, I've been waiting for someone to own" Patricia commented, following Derrick out until she noticed that Skylar remained seated. "Why aren't you coming?" "Well, it could be a tr-" At that moment, an exclamation mark "!" sprung up over Skylar's head. "I actually need something I asked for!" Skylar jumped up and followed Patricia out of the room.

------

The guests arrived at the scene of the crime, which was in the middle of a classical-themed arena. The Santa Claus from earlier and a group of aides that accompanied him were carrying sacks full of various goods. The group was being held hostage by the people dressed in white suits and the girl from earlier that had attempted to persuade Derrick. All of the agents also had Pokemon by their sides. Most of them were Machamps, but there were also a couple of Lucarios, a few Sunfloras, and even a Vaporeon.

"You dare to bring presents to those who don't deserve them?" Skylar and Patricia sighed in shame once they heard the preceding line. "You should know that nobody should show sympathy to demons" the girl from earlier preached, "If you give a demon an ounce of respect, they will turn on you in an instant, maim you, and then urinate on your injured body-"

**"Shut up!"** Derrick bellowed as his recently-summoned Delcatty charged at her. As the girl regained her composure, her attention was focused on the trio. Skylar backed away and murmured, "Yeah… I'm out of Pokemon so… Bye-" "C'mon, Sky" Patricia asserted, grabbing him by the collar of his shirt, "Find some other way to make yourself useful." Skylar nodded and then began to think about how he should assist his allies as a group of Pokemon began to attack the group introduced earlier. Skylar turned back and sat down, thus leaving him unable to see what was actually going on until he stopped being so lost in thought.

"Alright, Swellow! Beat them down with Aerial Ace!" Patricia's Swellow took flight and began swooping down mercilessly on its targets. The Machamps were not damaged much by it, but the attacks did a number on the small group of Sunflora within the crowd. The other Pokemon were locked in battle against the squad of powerful Machamps. The Machamps appeared to be crushing the more fragile Pokemon in only one shot each, while the more sturdy Pokemon refused to give in.

"Delcatty, Attract that Vaporeon!" Delcatty immediately struck an endearing pose while its eyes shimmered. Vaporeon was helpless to counter this wave of attraction and thus ceased to obey its trainer. Needless to say, the girl from earlier, who happened to own the Vaporeon, was infuriated. "Vaporeon! Punish that seductress at once!" Vaporeon was too busy admiring Delcatty for it to notice an oncoming Thunder from within the crowd. Vaporeon was struck by the onslaught of electricity and was unable to resume battle afterward.

At that moment, a Ho-oh was unleashed. Skylar took notice of the bird and commented, "Forget this. Derrick, get over here." Skylar's voice wasn't loud enough to pierce the heat of uncivilized conflict, so Derrick did not hear him. Skylar sighed and stood back up. He quickly tapped Derick's back as his Delcatty was unintentionally facing off against Patricia's Swellow.

Derrick did not take the interruption very well. "What!? Can't you see I'm busy?" "We should just take the sacks and carry them back to the room before they find us." "Why do you need me to help you?" "'Why?' Derrick, I'm 4'4" and I probably weigh less than one of these sacks." "Fine…"

The moment Derrick and Skylar attempted to reach for a sack, the entire crowd roared, "Get your hands off that sack!" The battle resumed just as quickly as it had stopped, and the duo needed a more subtle way to swipe the gifts inside. They both decided to untie the bags and search through the content inside. Before they could identify anything, they were met with another interruption. "Stop looking through there you impatient morons! We're almost done!"

Following that statement, the legendary Pokemon overpowered the holiday hostage…holders' Pokemon and defeated them. All Pokemon were recalled and the agents were forced to surrender the sacks. At that moment, most of the guests charged at the sacks and began rummaging through them for presents. Gifts of various sizes and shapes were received, along with envelopes on most of them. In fact, some people received only envelopes.

------

Back at the original room, everyone except for the people dressed in white was sitting around, opening the presents they had received. All three of the main cast members had received envelopes and Max Revives and Max Elixirs to revitalize their parties. Derrick also received a pair of expensive wrist weights, a minimized sound effect tile, and a few Rare Candies.

Patricia had received an Electrizer, which had made her more overly happy than she could ever be in her everyday life. "Electabuzz" she declared, gazing at its Poke Ball, "You and me are going to crush the competition. I said the same thing to Shelgon, but still, you're going to be a superstar too." Patricia had also received a novel titled _The War of Pokemon Battling Arts: Why Scrubs Will Bow Down to Pros_ by an anonymous author.

Skylar had received an additional note, a minimized package containing a room item, and a novel titled _I Hope They Serve Soda in H.F.I.L.: Censorship and You_ by some fictional author named Flora Kitz.

Skylar read over his note and concluded, "That sucks. Not even they were willing to give me night vision for my goggles. There goes the idea that my goggles can become super awesome." "So" Patricia questioned Derrick, "Why expensive wrist weights?" "Simple" Derrick responded, grinning, "With these, I can train my punches until I can blast through walls in a single punch! Nobody will dare tell me that I should read a book or something."

"Yeah… have fun with that. How about your stuff, Skylar?" "Well, as for the book… You'll see later on." The book had gained a significant amount of importance due to that single statement. "And why a chair?" "If our secret base is gonna be our location for sitting around and discussing whatever is going on, then I should bring my own chair. You and Derrick bought lavish thrones with your oceans of money." "But why a Sludge Bomb chair? Aren't thrones and beanbag chairs completely opposite in debating pompousness?" "Come on, a chair that can double as a bed _and_ has a lower price than both combined? Sounds like a sweet deal to me."

Patricia returned, "Oh. Anyways, I wonder what's in this envelope?" The group simultaneously opened their envelopes. The insides of all three appeared to contain the exact same message. Skylar began to read aloud.

"Dear pesky plumbers,

You guys must have serious guts if you decided to write down 'I want out of this strangeness-fest' as one of your wishes. You couldn't just get over the whole 'trapped in a room' part for just one second and enjoy the festivities? We so forgot about that a couple of times, you slimeball. On the other hand, I was pleased with the outcome of this little Christmas special. It had plenty of carnage while also staying true to the Christmas Spirit- Aww, now he's just spewing Tauros crap."

"Go on" Patricia urged.

"Says here that he… wants to keep us locked up here for a New Year's special. The ratings will be… absolute gold…" Skylar summarily dropped his paper right between his fingers.

"Lemme finish." Derrick took over narrating the letter. "Wouldn't it be 'awesomely bodacious'? Your god of godliness, anonymous voice-over that owns this place."

Derrick paused for a moment, and then- "**AAAARGH!**" His fists slammed down on the table in front of him, but with enough force to hurt Derrick and cause him to shake his hands in pain. "Oww…"

"Don't worry, boys. I've got a plan. Put all your stuff back and revive your Pokemon." Patricia smirked deviously. Derrick and Skylar complied as Patricia revealed a trigger that she had been hiding in her pocket. Once one of the fangirls noticed the trigger, the entire room began to gaze at her. The only people who were not looking were Skylar and Derrick, who were applying Max Revives and Max Elixirs to their stabled Pokemon. A few moments later. "Done" Skylar and Derrick stated in unison. "Alright, once I push down the trigger, we are gonna run like hell." Patricia's grip began to tighten as she counted down, "Three… two… one."

The locked door was swiftly blasted open by a bomb from within. The group swiftly made their exit, followed by everyone else. The intercom was wailing in fury. "What are you doing?! Get back into that room right now, or else Arceus will destroy you!" "Like I said: screw anyone who uses a fake legendary" Patricia reminded her friends. The group arrived in the arena from before, which was now marked by stray stains of blood. However, the glass ceiling above was their target. "Alright, time to make our exit. Swellow!" "Pelipper!" "Golbat!" "Get us out of this crazy place!" The group projected the latter line in unison as they unleashed their winged Pokemon. Skylar put on his goggles and mounted himself atop his bloodthirsty mount while Patricia and Derrick firmly gripped the talons of their bird Pokemon with chain links they had carried with them.

The two birds charged upward and burst through the glass ceiling, sending hundreds of transparent shards to scatter into the moonlit night. Skylar's Golbat then emerged from the broken window, flying around in a somewhat erratic manner. "How is this even possible?!" Patricia shouted, questioning the physics of her current situation. "Who cares?!" Derrick retorted, "This is helping us escape, and this is Pokemon!"

Their comments were quickly met with the emergence of numerous Pokemon among the rooftops of this massive building, including an Arceus. Once Arceus began to charge up its Judgement attack, the group fled from the figurative citadel and into the forest below.

A few moments later, the party had escaped the vicinity of the mansion. All three of them were seated on a small hill overlooking a grassy path. Pelipper and Swellow were resting at their trainers' sides while Skylar's Golbat was draining the blood of a wild Linoone. Patricia said, panting, "Yeah… I'm boycotting holiday specials forever." "You mean at least until that deranged prison keeper is out of commission, right? I mean, we did get some cool stuff from that party" Skylar debated.

"Yeah, I suppose so…" "But still" Derrick added, "The whole thing seemed kinda pointless if you ask me." "You mean like one of those Massive Jawed Feraligatr Events?"

"Precisely, Patricia."

"I have heard that episodes like these aren't supposed to be too closely tied to canon, but whatever. Meeting that one guy, having to spend Christmas with criminals, and discovering that we might be dealing with a really messed-up cult is scary enough for me to arbitrarily denounce this episode as pointless. Everyone agree?" "Yeah" Derrick nonchalantly answered, followed by Skylar's response: "Absolutely."


	4. Chapter 4: On the Way to Fortree

Chapter 4: An Unfunny Thing Happened on the Way to Fortree

AN: stop flaring da story u prepz! everyone noz tat derik aslee iz a prep, k??? ps skar (skyler's goffik name) is not a homophone he is secretly in luv w/ derik aslee once he becoms a goff and skar had a hidoch k??? o and fangs to anyone reasing tis story.

With that pointless, tasteless parody out of the way, time to continue.

------

_"The claw wounds… They burn…" _The preceding non-sequitur echoed in Skylar's head as he awoke. He found himself alone nearby a stagnant river canyon. _"How'd I end up here? I know something attacked us and made us scatter, but I could've sworn that I fell asleep somewhere else."_ Skylar stood up as a brisk breeze flowed through the immediate area.

"No telling where the others could be at this point. Unfortunately, they're the ones that know where they're going." Skylar pondered about his next move. "I guess they could catch up with me. I mean, I've been traveling alone for part of my journey anyways. Sure, I'm not awesome at Pokemon battling, but I might be able to find my way out… I hope." With that, Skylar started to wander along the river.

------

"Dammit, why didn't I eat anything at that party?"Derrick awoke within a forested area. There didn't seem to be a river nearby, but there was a network of small brooks throughout the woodland. The serene image was interrupted by a team of unidentified burly Pokemon razing the forest with a group of humans following them, directing their movement.

"Now that's how you deforest with style… Wait a sec." Derrick thought for a millisecond and then concluded, "I like where they're going with this." Derrick immediately began to follow the demolition derby, despite not knowing who was directing it.

------

_ "Sky and Derrick… a couple? What is _wrong _with those girls?"_ Patricia found herself falling out of a tree once she had awoken. A hard landing smashed some of the sleepiness out of her. "Can't a girl sleep in a tree without…"

A battle between two Pokemon-controlling sides was in Patricia's view. A raid of heroic Pokemon was taking on a swarm of legendaries and other varied creatures. "I've had it with this farce. I'm going to deal with those game-breaking legendaries myself… But how am I supposed to beat down a team of Ubers? My team has UUs for Palkia's sake! Wait a second…" Patricia noticed someone utilizing the same kind of device that had subdued the Legendaries at the Oldale Pokemon Center.

Patricia approached the overseer of the legit side of the conflict: a medium-height woman with long blonde hair and clad in a low-cut white ceremonial robe decorated with symbols made of golden thread. Patricia then presented herself. "Excuse me, ma'am. I hate the people you are fighting with a passion." "Ah, we appear to have a common enemy- **Destroy them!**" the woman responded, turning toward her subordinates. One of the Pokemon handlers could be heard responding with, "We're giving them everything the Grand Priestess has given us!" "**Then destroy them more!** Idiots. Six years later, we still have agents that behave like those bumbling grunts that yesterday's malefactors employed."

The commander noticed Patricia and then returned, "Sorry. My men need to learn to go beyond the impossible and not just stop at 'one hundred percent' or some other crap like that. Anyways, you're interested in assisting our cause?" "Yes" Patricia asserted, "as long as you can equip me with one of those devices so I can blast apart those damned Legendaries."

"Unfortunately, you must be inducted into our brotherhood before you can be given such a device. We cannot let our weapons fall into the wrong hands." "But you did say that your men were idiots, so… yeah. One of those guys might shoot himself with that thing, but I won't. I'm a more important character than him, so you know that I'll be better than them."

The commander thought for a moment, and then gave Patricia a "how stupid do you think I am?" look. "Try all you want, but you're not getting your hands on one of these without becoming an official agent of our cause" the nameless woman insisted, displaying a Legendary-destroying mechanism of her own. Patricia countered with a threat: "I see. Don't get so cocky, because your days could very well be numbered. I know someone who will try to demolish your big ol' agency the moment you do something even remotely bad. He's small, thin, and has messy brown hair, so you know you're in trouble." "Psh, we have like, an entire unit of those in our ranks. Fortunately, they all still have twenty years left until retirement. Now if you'll excuse me, go away."

------

"There goes my chance at enjoying being lost" Patricia grunted, wandering back into the uncharted forest. She revealed her cell phone and activated a GPS function built into the phone. While the GPS was loading, she also took out a simple compass whose arrow was pointing left. The GPS loaded Patricia's location and another blip that represented Fortree City. Oddly enough, her current location was north of her destination. "How convenient" Patricia remarked, pleasantly surprised.

------

The battle went on for hours, just like a card game that lasts multiple episodes…

I'm just kidding. It was over after thirty minutes or so.

Meanwhile, Derrick arrived at his destination, which turned out to be the mansion he tried to escape from. His desire for glorious combat had reached its peak and he was ready to kick ass and take names…

…And then the place exploded. The size and force of the explosion had started a cataclysm of collapsing wood, stone, and steel. The castle-like complex shattered into a cloud of debris right before Derrick's eyes. "I should've been the one to kill that guy. I would've looked so awesome while doing it" Derrick fumed, turning back in disdain.

------

"I guess it's time to go" Patricia declared. She was about to call someone-

"Run!" A blur followed by a watery trail blazed right by Patricia. She could not make out the person, but the voice sounded familiar. His trail was followed by a number of mounted men up above.

Patricia started to call Derrick. Once she had contacted him, she explained, "Hey Derrick. We're out of here, so start heading south. Get here fast, because Skylar's being chased."

"_Skylar_ getting into trouble?" Derrick retorted in disbelief, "This I gotta see." He hung up in an instant and summoned his Pelipper to aid him in heading south.

And thus, the train of chasing was formed. We have Skylar in front astride a Sharpedo barreling through the forest while being propelled by Aqua Jet. Skylar haphazardly attempted to steer his mount away from the trees and ended up just smashing right through the trees. Behind him was a small swarm of Altarias and Staraptors, with a couple of Dragonites and Togekisses present for good measure.

Behind them was a small group of Uber trainers that still had Pokemon to spare. Patricia was hot on their tail by using her Swellow from before. Behind her was the party that had invaded the complex. They were exhausted from their day's work and sought to return to base. A provoked pack of Swellow trailed from behind and was being followed by… A Noctowl being piloted by some random girl in skimpy clothing? How did she get there? She's also being chased by another girl on a Fearow. And finally, we have Derrick at the end, who is being transported by his Pelipper…

…How does that Pelipper carry a guy like Derrick, anyway? Are Pokemon just that strong? Either way, it would make a rather silly picture.

As Skylar soared over the edge of the island, he noticed that his Sharpedo's Aqua Jet had faded and he was now on a crash course toward the water or the land ahead if he flew far enough. "Oh snap, I'm in quite a pickle here" Skylar stated. He then turned toward the screen. "If I don't make it out of this alive, remember me as that one kid who tried to imitate Wizpig."

Skylar paused for a second, but only heard silence. Thus, he recalled his Sharpedo and unleashed another Pokemon, one that appeared to be blob-like in shape.

Meanwhile, further back, the Noctowl used Extrasensory to throw off the Swellow flock ahead, which flew into the valiant platoon ahead who attempted to ward them off with special attacks that missed and instead struck Patricia and the Uber trainers. The trainers noticed the agents from behind and decided to retaliate by having their Pokemon fire at the agents ahead.

Like a meteor shower, every person and Pokemon involved in the chase, excluding Derrick and the girl Fearow was carrying, crash-landed onto the beach.

------

A moment later, everyone started to recover. Skylar's fall was somewhat broken by Swalot, the Pokemon he had called out earlier. The moment Skylar opened his eyes, the somewhat battered blob embraced Skylar by affectionately chomping the upper half of his body. "I know you're happy to see me, but do you _really_ have to be like this all the time?!" Skylar whimpered, swinging his legs rampantly. Swalot eventually let go of its trainer after sating its desire for showing affection.

In the span of about thirty seconds, Skylar was surrounded by such dashing trainers. The commander from earlier stepped forward, with a strange ceremonial pistol in hand, and began to speak.

"So… You're that little boy that rejects our call. Allow me to introduce myself. I am Meredyth with a Y. You seem to have become one of those 'special' cases that attract the attention of the Grand Priestess herself. One of my men told me about an innocent child who could have been so much better, but lets bad examples teach him."

"Look" Skylar clarified, "Derrick's an anti-role model. I try to _not_ be like him." "That doesn't matter. What matters is that you have the gall to reject the call of the light and then steal our equipment."

The equipment she was referring to was a Legendary neutralizing device that Skylar had apparently stolen. The device appeared to be a bright silver half-ring with a hilt in the middle. The inner part of ring had a trigger within reach of the pointer finger while the outside was blazoned with glowing yellow glyphs and a golden circle in the center of it all.

Of course, Skylar needed some sort of justification for stealing from the good guys. "What? Only you guys deserve to be free of those cheaters? Us average Joes get enough pain from them, so it's only fair that we can help you with your goal. Besides, I don't exactly trust you. I mean, you guys threatened us just because we didn't join your hoity-toity Chicken Wings of Righteousness."

"I wouldn't insult the Order if I were you" Meredyth remarked, "There are only two kinds of people in this world: those who obey the Order of the Wings of Righteousness, and those who are marked for death, figuratively and literally. Now, will you cease this disobedience and surrender yourself to the Order?"

"Hold on a second." The Fearow rider from earlier had emerged. She was the same age as Skylar, but was three inches taller than him. She was rather pudgy (not a near-invisible layer of fat like those celebrities. She is actually pudgy) and she didn't care. At the very least, it didn't stop her from wearing sunglasses. Her dark orange hair was in two braided pigtails that extended down to her torso, but her light blue eyes were somewhat obstructed by her sunglasses.

"Mercedes? What are you doing here?" "Sky, this Order is a lie" Mercedes responded in an unusually calm tone, "Try saying that five times fast." Both Skylar and Meredyth gave the girl a stern look, so she continued. "They are righteous elitists that want to kill everyone they see as 'impure,' and they define 'impure' as like, ninety percent of the world."

"You're seriously going to listen to a condemned girl like her?" Skylar turned back to Meredyth and replied, "Um… Yes? She _is_ my biffle."

At that exact moment, Skylar's yellow shirt was splattered with a pellet of black paint. However, this pellet wasn't as harmless as it seemed; the pellet inflicted pain on the solar plexus of Skylar's chest. Upon impact, Skylar clutched his damaged chest.

"It has been decided. For your deeds against us, you have been condemned by the Order. Men, seize him so that he may be purged from this world, and don't forget his friend either."

The agents prepared themselves for the kill, but they were interrupted by a rampaging Steelix, a berserking Shelgon, and a Tentacruel. The agents were caught by surprise, but their Pokemon were quickly called to the field. They seemed to have the advantage until the Uber abusers returned with reinforcements. The distraction gave Mercedes ample time to guide an injured Skylar to safety as his Swalot followed close behind.

------

Mercedes and Skylar had arrived at an ancient pillar far from the conflict. There, Skylar was able to rest. "…Thank you" he murmured, "My last few days have been really crazy. First, we discover Legendaries all over Hoenn, then we get stuck in the middle of a city-destroying brawl, we found a black market under a theme park the next day and had to flee just as I meet my cousin, and then we get transported to someone's Christmas Special which was located back on that island."

"Yeah, I know how that feels" Mercedes returned, "I had to be part of the New Year's special. It was fun for a while, but then the host started saying that I was too 'ugly' to be part of his next special. Like he'll get any women with a voice like that." Both of them giggled for a moment, and then Mercedes resumed.

"I know the _real_ good guys, and they've just recently started the hunt for one of those. I think there's an entrance to their base in Fortree."

Patricia and Derrick spontaneously appeared at this current location. "Skylar, get over here" Patricia asserted. Skylar inched his way back onto his feet and followed his comrade. "So, what did you bring me over-"

In Skylar's line of sight was a rotund behemoth consuming the fruits of the forest. "You're capturing this Pokemon. Get to it!" Patricia ordered. "Are you kidding? Why do you want me to catch something that will take mountains of money to feed?" "Because you've been looking for big, bad Pokemon to watch your back, if I remember correctly. Here's one of them." "Yeah, I didn't mean a Pokemon that would mooch off of me and sleep." "Shut up and just catch him already. You'll thank me later."

"Fine. Hariyama, let's get this over with." Skylar summoned what appeared to be a massive wrestler that was over two and a half feet taller than its trainer. "Start out with a Belly Drum" Skylar ordered unenthusiastically. The Hariyama started to wildly beat its own chest even more frantically than most Belly Drummers.

After preparing itself, Hariyama was now more fragile but much stronger. "Force Palm then, I guess." Skylar's Hariyama channeled traces of energy into its hands and then began to dizzily approach its target. The gargantuan fighter pulled back almost its entire body and then used all its force to damage the Snorlax.

Needless to say, Snorlax was provoked, yet not quite paralyzed. The grumpy behemoth and the stout wrestler took notice of each other. Both Pokemon appeared to be evenly matched in mass, so the heat of rivalry ignited within both of their hearts. The two Pokemon started a duel of their own, ignoring any commands that would have been given out.

At this moment, Skylar started to rebel. "If you want this Pokemon so much, then you catch him." "I already have tons of good Pokemon. You're the struggling trainer here." Skylar dashed away and grabbed Derick by the wrist.

"Get over here. There's a Pokemon for you to catch" Skylar insisted. "Um… Okay?" Derrick replied. Skylar led Derrick to the current battle and ordered, "Once it's in position, catch that Snorlax." "Uh… Thanks" Derrick responded, still puzzled but also somewhat elated.

Snorlax now had Hariyama under its weight after a Body Slam, but Hariyama danced its way back onto its feet and unleashed another Force Palm attack. The impact knocked Snorlax onto its back and paralyzed it.

"Ultra Ball, go!" Derrick bellowed, firing an Ultra Ball out of his hand cannon. The ball entrapped Snorlax within before Hariyama could successfully tackle its opponent. The ball shook wildly until it broke into pieces.

"_No time to hesitate. Just fire another round! Fire, fire!"_ Derrick immediately loaded another Ultra Ball into the launcher. Snorlax was too stunned by paralysis to make its next move, so Derrick fired again. The ball enlarged after being fired and then swallowed up its target. A few moments later, Snorlax was sealed in and transported to Derrick's virtual storage system. "Sweet."

------

Evening had come and the quartet was in a watery canyon on the northernmost part of Route 120. "Hm, we could set up our bases here" Patricia stated. "Hold on" Mercedes interrupted, "Sky, you never told us how you got that device." "Oh yeah" Patricia realized, "Do tell." "Alright then." Skylar started to narrate his journey.

"I had run into a battle between those cheaters from earlier and those cultists. I even saw you there for a moment, Patty. I noticed that they had the devices from before and that you and Derrick have started to really hate those cheaters. I felt kinda guilty that I was stealing something, but I also knew that not stealing it could lead to pure insanity, and you all know how Derrick gets when he's mad."

"It's true. Do not piss me off. _Evur_."

"With that decided, I had my klepto Nuzleaf snatch it from one of the incapacitated trainers. They were onto me once they saw my Nuzleaf. I tried to hide, but they found me right away, so I hopped onto Sharpedo and flew away."

"Nice" Patricia congratulated, "Congratulations on doing something awesome for once."

Skylar lightly touched one of the larger pockets of his shorts and then began to panic. He frantically checked every pocket available and noticed something missing. "Gah! It's gone! Should've known this was too good to be true…" Skylar whimpered.

Meanwhile, in some other location, the scantily-clad Noctowl rider from earlier was holding the device firmly in her grasp.

"It's okay" Patricia reassured, albeit in a conceited manner, "Someday you'll eventually become as awesome as me and Derrick. Either way, time to make our secret base." The trio unleashed three of their Pokemon. Skylar's Nuzleaf, Patricia's Swellow, and Derrick's Houndour were on standby. Their next orders were given in unison.

"Secret Power."

Houndour, Nuzleaf, and Swellow started to channel a strange energy that warped the rocky slope. The Secret Power tunneled into the earth and created a roomy den within. The effects started to overlap, so the walls between the three bases faded and formed a combined three-tier cavern that was about as large as two secret bases, but could easily house the three of them and then some.

Once the canyon wall had been hollowed, three earthy walls had appeared within the caves. The walls were indented but built out of sturdy stone and metal that could keep intruders out. Nuzleaf wandered into the cave and found the three doors. He placed his simplistic hand on the left door, which caused it to open.

The group followed and entered the new base through the three doors. An unclear conversation began with a suggestion from Mercedes.

"So… sleepover?"

"Sounds fun."

"Can we invite some hot chicks over for a pillow fight?"

"Derrick!"

"Patricia, don't be such a buzzkill…"

"…Wait, what?"

"Nothing."

"That's what I thought. Anyone for some cheesy horror movies? I got a TV."

"C'mon. We need something un-cheesy. We need something that would make Derrick here wet himself."

"…"

"Quit your moping, Sky. So, what will we be watching?"

"I bootlegged a copy of Gothic Bloody Massacre 666. It's apparently so scary that it's the only film known to man that has become a wanted criminal."

"Then stop yapping and set up this base so we can watch it!"


End file.
